MY BREAKTHROUGH

THIS PIECE IS PERSONAL

I know by now you know me already but it’s not the same girl you used to know. Let me start from the beginning. I am the last child in a family of 5 children. Growing up, I was always treated higher than my age, by this I mean that everyone around me was already grown by the time I was born. This made me, I began to have so many interests by the time I was only ten years old. Vividly, I can remember liking to write, sing and dance. My siblings were into their various activities and oh, how intrigued I became. At one point, I wanted to do everything and be everyone. I didn’t know how to choose and everything seemed important to me at the same time. At first, the exploration was fun but as time went on, I started to get overwhelmed; many times, I would cry and explain to my family that I wanted to be good at something like the rest of my family and the response I got will always be the same, RELAX.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY RELAX, I mean I needed to start early so that I can be able to be successful at an early age like some personalities I saw on television. And I had time, but I didn’t know what to do or where to start, I did write a book but it didn’t get as much publicity as I thought it would. I wanted to write more and I did but was too scared to publicize because of fear of criticism. I mean, there are many things to be worried about, like how the work is presented, learning the ropes, and everything in between. Suddenly, everything became a chore to me, my passion turned into one of my biggest problems.

I became sad and angry all the time, I was jealous and envious of everyone around me. I tried to push myself beyond my limit but I would always end up at square one because the reason I was working so hard was to prove to people that I was somebody. Little did I know that no one really cared about that. I kept on fighting with people that were not even fighting with me. I took their criticism as insults and their corrections as a base for arguments. I was miserable and I didn’t know what to do.

All this while I kept praying for a breakthrough, a way out, a fresh start, a new beginning; but I always found myself in the same place. I felt God had abandoned me and I started to question my faith. Later on, I entered University with all my achievements and qualifications, but I still wasn’t happy. I still felt horrible. All through this, God’s hand has always been leading me, I thought I was in a hole, but I was in a maze; I thought I was in a rat race but I was on a self-discovery journey; I thought I was hopeless but I am only getting started.

My breakthrough is here because God has revealed to me all that I was doing, I prayed, worked, cried, and cried some more. Now I will change my mindset and attitude toward life. It will take a while to get the change in motion but hey, I am already moving. It is safe to say that everything happens for a reason and one should not give up on this thing called life. There will be hard, confusing, difficult times but that should not deter you from pushing on.

I am always rooting for all of us. Let’s do this.